Altruistic perfectionism, burnout, and moral demandingness

By Mark McDonald @ 2025-03-26T23:49 (+5)

This post is based on a presentation I gave to the EA Salt Lake City group about 2 years ago. Some people found it valuable back then, and so I thought I would write it up to share with a broader audience. This discussion is mostly directed at people who worry that they’re not doing enough, so much that it is negatively impacting their life. But even if that doesn't describe you, you might find something helpful in here anyway. 

First, some definitions:

• Altruistic perfectionism: When it feels unacceptable to be anything short of perfect in the way you give to others and positively impact the world.
• Moral demandingness: When your moral theory demands that you make sacrifices that seem burdensome or excessive.
• Burnout: Physical or emotional exhaustion caused by prolonged stress and the inability to meet constant demands .

Searching through resources on the EA Forum and elsewhere, I compiled a list of concepts and techniques to help us avoid or work through these mental-health-related issues. The ideas include workability, agency, universalizability, setting boundaries, doing volunteer work locally, and attending therapy. These concepts can help you find a balance in your life that can make your altruistic work more sustainable and enjoyable. 

Workability

“No one could make a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little”  -attributed to Edmund Burke.

• Humans have finite willpower. If we try to go full speed ahead all the time, eventually we will burn out and do less good in the long run. Workability means choosing actions that are feasible and sustainable. This may mean giving less money or less mental energy now, so that it can be sustained for a longer period without burning out.
• One strategy that can help you identify if your choices are workable is ask yourself “what advice would I give to a friend if I saw them acting the way I currently am?” 

Choice, not obligation

• It is probably healthier to think of altruism as a choice rather than an obligation. If an action is easy and helps 99 people, and a different action is hard but helps 100 people, then taking the easy action is 99% as good as taking the hard action. (See also scalar utilitarianism.)
• Often, the easiest life you can improve is your own. When doing the calculus to see how many people you can help for a given level of effort, don’t forget to tell yourself “I count as one person.” 

Universalizability

• If the Effective Altruism community expected others to donate all their income and live in poverty, it would drive people away and do less good overall. Universalizability means that you should have the same standards for yourself that you would expect of others. If you set your standards too high, it might make others reluctant to join the cause, which is why you should strive for moderation. 

Boundaries

“Sweating the small stuff is a distraction. If I hem and haw about the five dollar shake I bought with lunch, my brain is less likely to consider a big change”. –Some commenter on Reddit (I can’t find the original post.)

Compassion fatigue and moral licensing are real issues that will harm your decision making if you don’t set adequate boundaries. Here are some examples of boundary setting that I have seen:

• Set a donation limit, and then don’t let yourself give away money beyond that. The rest of the money is for keeping yourself happy and healthy.
• Commit to some self-care goals. (Get enough sleep, don’t let yourself take on responsibilities you don’t need.)
• Create a happiness budget by setting aside time or money towards self-care.

Local volunteer work

• EA causes can be very abstract and feel distant. Helping people around you can keep you motivated and also connect with new people in your area. I think the benefits of local volunteer work are sometimes underappreciated by members of the EA community. 

Therapy

Some people that feel the weight of excessive moral demandingness might find it useful to talk to a therapist about it. I really liked this 80k After Hours episode by a  therapist who focuses on these kinds of issues. Some ideas that stood out to me were:

• Embrace healthy multiplicity. People have multiple desires that sometimes conflict, and that’s okay. It can even be helpful to role play and give different parts of your psychology a voice.
• Celebrate progress made. Don’t think “you could have done more”. Think “look at all I’ve done!”
• I really liked this quote about self-acceptance: “Part of my mind is like “You could do more. It kind of looks like you want to just have fun and chill.” And I kind of have to unhook from that thought, and just be like, “I see you. I see what you’re pointing at. You’re naming something that matters. And by the way, workability is also [something that matters] here.”

Conclusion

Next time you have the thought, “I shouldn’t buy this $5 shake, I should donate the money to charity”, recognize that for most people, that attitude is self-defeating. By being less demanding of yourself, you will:

• Find habits that are workable, which you can sustain without burning out
• Set an example of moderation, which is more universalizable and less likely to drive people away
• Avoid moral licensing and compassion fatigue that will harm your decision making
• Still achieve most of the good you can do
• Be happier with where you’re at! Remember, the goal is to increase people’s wellbeing, and you are one of those people!