If you dislike some Berkeley sex norms, you can say so

By Nathan Young @ 2026-09-24T19:57 (–7)

I sense we are about to get a load of discourse about sex norms in AI safety. And I suspect a lot of people are going to privately dislike them but publicly feel unable to say so, until some kind of horrible "I always hated that" "It was the worst worst worst" moment.

I would prefer that rather than a dam breaking we could release the pressure more gradually. So I recommend saying so. Say to someone "I dislike the rationalist sex scene" or heck, "I dislike the veganism" or "I don't like how people leave multi-person conversations without saying so". It is okay to dislike things.

I cannot promise that no one will ever get annoyed at you over it, I cannot promise I will not be curt in response, but I would like to accept that kind of criticism and I hope that rationalists will too.

But I think the worse outcome is a resentment that builds from having to defend something or someone one is repulsed by. And I don't think that is sustainable to a community. And I don't think it will help good thinking about discourse as it happens.

Tom Bry-Chevalier🔸 @ 2026-09-25T10:25 (+3)

I appreciate your initiative, Nathan. However, from what we’ve seen, it would appear that this isn’t just about sexual norms, but also about sexual abuse. And I’m afraid that the language you’re using tends to downplay what are potentially very serious issues.

But yes, it’s a subject that needs to be discussed. And as an EA member who is very far removed from Berkeley and its culture, several things I’ve read recently have made me question my allegiance to a movement in which I am involved for more than 10 years.