My first PhD year

By Jaime Sevilla @ 2021-08-31T11:31 (+65)

One year ago I started my PhD, studying Bayesian reasoning in Aberdeen University under a Marie Curie grant from the NL4XAI program. It was a fantastic opportunity, and I am immensely grateful for it.

I thought now would be interesting to reflect on how the period went, what I have achieved so far, and what I plan to do going forward.

My experience

The first few months in Aberdeen were really tough. My only face-to-face time with other people was a weekly talk with my supervisor. I met with friends and new people online, but it clearly didn’t meet my needs - I felt constantly lonely and tired, and I failed to keep good daily routines with a balance of work, play and exercise.

Meeting a partner did a lot to help me through the pandemic. I do still want to meet more people and improve my situation, but having someone I trust, rely on and spend time with has made the situation go from almost unbearable to actually joyful.

Professionally, I felt often unfocused and as I was not achieving much on my PhD. I have not been setting many accountable goals, nor meeting the ones I did set. I worked a lot, yet it didn’t feel productive (though after writing this article it feels less so). The two colleagues I was most closely working with left their PhD program - I have been struggling to find stable, ongoing collaboration.

On the other hand, I engaged on a lot of side projects that have been more successful. I am quite grateful for the amount of flexibility that the PhD has granted me, since it has allowed me to pursue all these smaller things that would be much harder to do in many other jobs.

Shoutout to my main supervisor, Ehud Reiter, who is a wonderful person I am constantly learning from, and has been supportive through the whole period. Also grateful to my other supervisors, and colleagues from the NL4XAI program and Aberdeen University.

My goals for this period

Overall, I have been fairly less ambitious and self-directed than usual. I think this is due to a mixture of stress from the COVID19 situation, the stress of moving to a new place where I didn’t know anybody and  the disorientation that comes from not having a clearly defined direction.

My primary professional goal for this year was to choose a topic for my PhD thesis. Did I achieve that? No, not really - though I made a lot of headway into the problem, and I’ve been told it is usual for PhD students to not have a clear thesis idea after their first year, so I am not too concerned just yet. 

More concretely, I spent the first 6 months researching causal inference, and after writing a paper I decided I was not in a good context to advance further on it. The next 6 months I spent working on building interpretable approximations of Bayesian Networks, and while I have a couple of interesting ideas on the works I do not feel like I am yet confident enough on my ideas to write a thesis about it (though maybe I just need to grit my teeth and flesh out my thoughts better to find out!). 

On other aspects of my life, I wanted to improve my mental health, set up an investment account and sign up for cryonics. I am quite happy with my mental health progress - I am less anxious and depressed, though I have completely lost all progress I had made towards a good daily routine. I got halfway to setting up an investment account, but I got impeded by some bureaucracy. I have completely neglected cryonics, and I don’t even know how to start.

What I achieved so far

In the very beginning of the program, I spent time wrapping up a few projects I got involved in before the PhD. These include:

I should note that I am extremely happy with how these projects turned out. All led me to learn a lot and produce quality work, all while working together with some excellent people. The AI and climate change report didn’t turn out exactly as I wanted, but I think it was a learning experience I needed to go through.

For my PhD, I have produced the following outputs:

 

 

 

So all in all I have been doing plenty of research - though it mostly has not panned out. I think that it made sense to spend my first year of PhD trying out this high risk / high reward research. 

However I notice I feel disappointed when I compare the work I did during my PhD to the projects I had before I started the PhD. They feel duller and less important. It is not clear to me to which degree this is a symptom of a worse work environment, a consequence of the very unusual situation we all have been in last year or maybe just me being impatient and not appreciating the grind towards interesting results in a PhD.


As I mentioned before, one of the best things about the PhD is that it has given me a lot of freedom to pursue side projects, and I have been taking advantage of this:

So even though I felt like this year was less productive, I actually have been up to many things! And some of them paid off and ended up being very interesting, such as the investigation on ML parameter counts.

Debugging my life

Let’s take stock: I am overall happy with my personal life (though there is room for improvement) and I am happy with my side projects. The part I am vaguely unsatisfied with is my PhD life.

I do not want to be too hard on myself, because I understand this has been an unusual year to start a PhD. And my main need with respect to my job is the space to freely pursue side projects I consider to be interesting and important, which is being met.

Yet I do think that I could improve how I relate to my PhD research, and get more out of it. Here I brainstorm some ideas.

Conclusion

I was feeling somewhat nervous about this review because I was scared to find I haven’t done all that much in this first year. Now that I have written it down, I think I have actually done many more things than I expected.

My remaining doubt is whether my current line of work on explaining bayesian networks is worth the effort - I think I will get a lot of mileage from assessing what directions I am most excited about exploring further.


technicalities @ 2021-09-02T07:32 (+5)

Looks like a great year Jaime!

Strongly agree that freedom to take side projects is a huge upside to PhDs. What other job lets you drop everything to work full-time for a month, on something with no connection to your job description?

Jsevillamol @ 2021-09-02T11:30 (+1)

Thank you! 

The freedom for side projects is the best - though I should warn other people here than having a supportive supervisor who is okay with this is crucial. 

I have definitely heard more than one horror story from colleagues who were constantly fighting their supervisors on the direction of their research, and felt they had little room for side projects.