Announcement on the Future of EA NYC’s Dim Sum Restaurant

By Rockwell, MeganNelson 🔸 @ 2024-04-01T21:28 (+67)

The EA Dim Sum Project is expanding! After input from the Restaurant's major donors and in consideration of initial profits, the EA NYC board has decided to launch new restaurant franchises across the country. In a landmark decision that is sure to stir the pot, EA NYC will now bring highly effective, vegan, Cantonese-style cuisine to new markets.

As some observed last year, EA NYC has always had ambitious plans to sprout a whole network of dim sum restaurants. As the only EA project to both turn a substantial profit and receive an endorsement from George the Tofu Guy, we think franchising is one of the highest-EV opportunities on the table. Some may even call it the true Effective Venture. As such, today we are also announcing our new Franchising to Give program—in partnership with AIM’s Founding to Give program—that will help aspiring restaurateurs launch a high-growth dim sum restaurant to donate to high-impact charities.

After one year of overwhelming success, unparalleled customer satisfaction, and an unexpected endorsement from the local “squirrel” population^[1] (who praised our eco-friendly disposal methods), we've concluded that the only logical step forward is to expand. Bodhi Kosher Vegetarian is not just a restaurant: it's a movement, and it's going global.

Team:

We’ve hired a small army of EA community builders whose funding has recently been cut to be our general managers. Their skills are highly transferable! With impeccable organizing skills and unfathomable patience, these seasoned professionals are now managing the bustling environment of our franchises. And fear not, we’re ensuring their transition is as smooth as our famous custard buns.

The Menu: 

Our R&D team, consisting of top chefs and philosophers, has been working tirelessly to expand the menu and the moral circle:

• The Utilitarian Udon - Noodles tangled in a delicious dilemma, serving the greatest taste for the greatest number.
• The Hedonist’s Tofu - Cubes of tofu so delectable, they make a case for pleasure as the only intrinsic good.
• Scope-Sensitive Szechuan - A spicy dish that adjusts its intensity based on the diner's capacity for spiciness, maximizing satisfaction without overwhelming.
• The Longtermist's Lo Mein - A noodle dish that gets better with every bite, ensuring future generations can enjoy its flavors.
• Kantian Quinoa - A quinoa salad that respects the autonomy of every ingredient, creating a dish that's as ethical as it is delicious.
• Deworming Dumplings - Paying homage to one of EA's favorite causes, these dumplings are a crowd-pleaser, with a portion of proceeds helping to fund deworming initiatives.^[2]

Invitation to Join:

Today, we extend an invitation to dreamers, doers, and anyone who's ever felt the call to open a highly-impactful restaurant. The Franchising to Give Initiative is more than a business opportunity; it's a chance to be part of a global shift towards a more ethical, sustainable, and delicious future.

A Final Note of Gratitude:

We want to express our deepest thanks to the staff of Bodhi, who continue to share their beautiful restaurant with the EA NYC community. Follow the EA NYC calendar for our next community dim sum!

Happy April 1st, and here's to planting seeds of change, one franchise at a time.^[3]

1. ^{^}

    That's one way to say "rat". They were definitely rats. This is New York City, after all.

2. ^{^}

    Dumplings do not contain anthelmintic agents.

3. ^{^}

   We want to be clear that EA NYC, to our knowledge, does not own any restaurants, fast food establishments, castles, manors, or other commercial or private real estate. We just really like vegan dim sum. And April Fool’s Day.